Duck Soup

1. You are on your way to the Fantasia Tavern, fancying to have an adventurous time delving your way to the bottom level of a few pints of ale, when all of a sudden an old woman blocks your path.

“Aye, there ya are. I been lookin’ all over for ya.” She croaks at you.

“Me?” You ask being quite puzzled.

“Aye you! Thought you could sneak away without fetching me duck did ya? Guess you don’t want any o’my famous duck soup do ya’s?” Lucky for you I’m hungry as a snark. Now go get me duck!”

“Lady, I think you must have me mistaken with som…”

She interrupts you with a healthy poke of her cane to your shoulder.

“Don’t be sassin’ me boy! Go get me duck!”

You sigh realizing that it might just be better to find a duck for this old hag than the trouble that might follow if you didn’t.

“Alright lady, where can I find this duck?” You reluctantly ask.

“Are ya daft boy? You can find one in the pond down yonder.” She points down a path through the woods. “Ya might want a get some bread from the bakery first to make it easier to catch. Hmmm, might be it’s corn they like instead. Ah what differnce it make, just go get me duck wills ya.”

She pokes you with her cane one more time to make sure what she means is known.

“I ain’t leavin’ this spot until ya comes back with it neither, so make it quick!”

With a sigh, you turn and head for the path to go get this crone her duck. You wonder how hard could this really be. Go to (4)

2. You are at an 4 way intersection. You can go North(4), South (13), East (6) or West (3). A sign on the path to the South reads Pim’s Pond.

3. The path bends to the East or North to a cornfield. Make a L1SR against Luck. If you make it go to (12). If you don’t go to (10)

4. You walk down the path, eventually coming to a crossroads. The smell of baking bread wafts in from the path to the East. You can see the edge of a field to the West. The path continues straight ahead of you as well. If you want to go buy some bread go to (8). If you want to check out the field for corn go to (7). If you’d rather not make this harder than it needs to be go to (2).

5. The crow has an MR of 20. If you kill it go to (11).

6. You come to a sign post with two arrow shaped signs on it. One sign points the North and has Portay’s Pan Area Delicious Baked Goods. The other points to a path to the West and reads Pim’s Pond. Before you can decide which way to go, a loud chittering fills your ears as you find yourself facing a dire squirrel that has leaped on the top of the sign post. The dire squirrel, crazed from the smell of the bakery, had seen the sack you carry and wants to challenge you for your bread. You wonder if it makes a habit of shaking down travelers for their baked goods. The dire squirrel has a MR of 12. If the dire squirrel gets a hit in any round of combat, you must make a L1SR Speed (or DEX) save or get bit a second time in the round for 1d6 damage. Once the rodent is vanquished you can decide where to go. If you think the pond might be a good place to find a duck go to (2). Going North takes you to Portay’s (8).

7. You come to the edge of a field. A short distance across the field is the edge of a cornfield. There is a huge flutter of wings as a large crow, the size of a dog, crashes out of the field and into the air, followed by a volley of arrows. The crow drops a number of ears of corn from it claws as an arrow sticks in it’s back end. Stunned from being hit, it is having a little trouble taking off. Do you want to attack the crow (5)? Do you want to try and grab some ears of corn and make off while the farmers are distracted fighting the crow(9)? Do you just want to leave a s quickly as you can by going East (4) or down the path you see going South (3)?

8. You come up to a large cottage. The smell of baking bread is riding the steam coming out of the vents in the roof. 8 year old Wendis Portay is sitting at a table filled with loaves of bread and muffins.

“You want some bread mister?”

“Uh, yes I think I do. Little girl, do you know on old lady you lives up this path?”

Wendis looks at you then covers her mouth as she bursts out in big giggles.

“DAD! A MAN’S HERE WHO CAME FROM THE SOUP LADY!” She shouts, still giggling.

Murnd Portay comes out of his shop to greet you. He has a big smile on his face obviously suppressing laughter.

“Hello there.” He manages to get out without a snicker. “The old bag caught ya ay? Hold on I’ll be right back.”

Before you can get a word out Murnd goes back into his shop. He comes out with a sack and hands it to you.

“Here this is some old stale bread I was going to throw out anyway. There’s no charge.” He says as he heads back into his shop. “Good luck!”

Not being able to contain himself anymore, Murnd busts into laughter, slapping his leg several times as he walks back into his shop. Wendis is holding her stomach with one hand and pointing at you with the other, laughing as hard as her dad. Shaking your head and trying to ignore them, you turn to see how you can get out of there quickly. You can go on the path headed West (4). There is another path that heads South. You can see a sign post down the path but you can’t make out what it says. If you choose to go that way go to (6)

9. Make a L2SR against Luck. If you make it you manage to grab a few ears of corn and get out of there before the farmers see you. If not one of the farmers sees you as they come running out of the cornfield. He begins shooting at you while the other focuses on the crow. You drop all the corn you picked up deciding it’s not worth puncture wounds. You can go East (4) or go down the path you see going South (3), with or without corn.

10. You hear a loud buzz as a giant wasp begins flying around your head. Apparently you didn’t see the nest it was building a few inches above your head. The wasp has an MR of 18. If you kill it you decide to go down the path to the East (2) or North to a cornfield(7).

11. Two farmers come running out of the cornfield to see you standing over the dead crow.

“Sir, I thank ya.” One of them says to you. “That blasted thing has been bothering us for months. How can I repay ya for yer good deed?”

You think back to something the old lady said.

“Well, would a sack of some of the corn the crow dropped be too much to ask?”

“No no that would be fine. I appreciate what ya done here Sir.”

The other farmer takes off an empty sack he had draped over his belt and begins to fill it with dropped corn.

“Sir, can I ask ya a question?” The other farmer says as he hands you the sack. “Are you here because of the soup lady?”

“You mean the old woman that lives down that path? Um, yeah, yeah I am.” You answer.

“Thought so. Good luck to ya!” The other farmer says as they turn, bursting with laughter, and walk back into the cornfield. You can go East (4) or go down the path you see going South (3).

12. You hear a loud buzz and decide to make a haste from the spot where you stand. You can run North to a cornfield (7) or East (2).

13. You finally come to the pond the old lady was talking about, now to find her duck. You look around and see nothing, not one blasted duck anywhere.

“Great!” You say to yourself. “Now what? Bloody Nath!”

After scanning the area again, you decide this was just another fool’s errand you got caught up in…again. You turn to head back.

“That crazy old bat can starve for all I care. I’m going straight to the pub!”

A loud splash, a very loud splash happens behind you as you walk back down the path. You turn around to find your self staring at a duck twice your size, with 2 heads. If you have a sack of corn and a sack of bread go to (17). If you have just corn go to (15). If you have just bread go to (16). If you have neither go to (14).

14. Bloody Nath that thing is huge you think to yourself. The duck takes one look at you and comes barreling out of the water. You are going to have a good fight on your hands. The duck has a MR of 32. If you win go to (18).

15. Bloody Nath that thing is huge you think to yourself. You suddenly remember why you got the corn. Quickly, you dump the corn in front of you and stand back. Seeing the food, the duck comes barreling out of the water. The left head is staring right at you as the right one focuses on the pile of corn. Looks like you have a fight on your hands. The Duck has a MR of 32with half it’s normal adds because it’s half distracted. If you win go to (18).

16. Bloody Nath that thing is huge you think to yourself. You suddenly remember why you got the bread. Quickly, you dump the bread in front of you and stand back. Seeing the food, the duck comes barreling out of the water. The right head is staring right at you as the left one focuses on the pile of bread. Looks like you have a fight on your hands. The Duck has a MR of 32 with half it’s normal adds because it’s half distracted. If you win go to (18).

17. Bloody Nath that thing is huge you think to yourself. You suddenly remember why you got the corn and the bread. Quickly, you dump the contents of both sacks in front of you and stand back. Seeing the food, the duck comes barreling out of the water. One head seems to be attracted to the corn while the other to the bread. One body charges the food as two heads go for what each likes. A loud crack echos as both heads, oblivious to what the other was doing, smack into each other knocking the duck out cold.

“That old hag wants a duck, I’ll give her a duck!” you say looking at the unconscious body of the fowl. You realized how easy this job just became. You kill the duck and then go to (18).

18. It takes the like of you, two farmers and a baker to haul the duck’s carcass back to the where the old lady is waiting.

“It’s about time ya got back. Whatta ya tryin’ to do, starve an old woman?” She says scowling at you. “C’mon let’s get that thing to the pot. I never said anything about invitin’ yer friends to supper though, but since they help I suppose they can come join us.”

You and the others look at each other blankly for a second or two before bursting out in laughter. The four of you, followed by Wendis Portay, turn and follow the old woman home dragging the duck behind you. You let your mind wander a little, daydreaming about how many free drinks your story will get you at the Fantasia later, after a good meal of course. You get an extra 100 AP for the good turn you did and 50 for finishing the adventure.