All I Wanted Was To Wet My Whistle…

In the second issue of The Snollygoster(the Longest Night edition), I introduced a set of rules for drinking in T&T.  Here’s a reprint of the article:

“Serious Drinking in T&T

Being an Adventurer is hard work. Finding a decent way to relax is even harder. Imbibing in a drink or two at the local tavern is sometimes the best solution. Whether its to relieve the stress of delving deep and facing constant danger or the simple fact that you just like to party.

Let’s begin our adventure in alcohol by developing a stat by which we can measure our ability to knock back a few. We’ll keep it simple and call it your Drinking Score(DRINK). To find your DRINK add your current Strength to your current Constitution and divide by 2 and round up(to some this arcane method of number divining is called “Finding the Average”). This gives you the base score for your DRINK. Do not base your DRINK on the permanent values of either ability unless they are currently equal to that value.

We are also going to add another stat called Drunkenness(DRUNK) to track our inebriated state. DRUNK starts at 0 for everybody.

So how does this all work? An adventurer needs to make a Saving Roll for every drink they have in an hour. The first drink is a level 1 SR, a second drink is a level 2 SR, and so on. Every time they miss they add a point to their DRUNK score. Once a player has 6 Drunk points they pass out cold for one hour. Players get sober at a rate of 1 Drunk point per hour.

Durd the Drunakrd has a DRINK of 14 and a DRUNK of 0. He takes his first drink and makes a level 1 SR against his DRINK. He rolls a 10 and makes it so his DRUNK stays at 0. On his second drink that hour he makes a level 2 SR and rolls a 9. He missed so the drink starts to affect him and he now has a DRUNK of 1. He misses his third save roll and now his DRUNK is at 2. He has four more drinks and misses all four saves. His DRUNK is now at 6 and good old DRUD passes out at the bar face down in a bowl of Buffalo Hobb dip.

Drinking has a tendency to start fights as well. When Adventurers drink they get boisterous, OK loud, and they tend to fight with more vigor and savagery…to a point and then they just start to get sloppy. If a player has 2-3 DRUNK points they get +2 adds on combat rolls per DRUNK point. They get get -2 for every point over 3. They get -1 on save rolls for every Drunk point they have.”

The rules were adapted from my own game Barbarians, Booze, & Battle Axes!( available here).  For B,B, & B, i wrote a small solo to help understand the rule.  I converted it to T&T rules for fun.  It’s short, really short, and I probably should have expanded it, but here it is:

1. The sun is shining, you have your weapon resting on your shoulder, and you are on your way to The Bloody Grackle for a night of drinking and carousing. Life is good, except there’s this guy in the way. He’s just standing there staring at you. If eyeballs shot daggers he’d be slicing you to ribbons right now.

“Hold it right there.”, he says to you, holding up his right hand.

“Ay, what’s the meaning of this?”, you ask.

“Well well, look at that shiny new weapon and them new duds. Looks like t’me someone fancies themselves a Barbarian don’t they. Tell you what Junior, how about you just hand over the rest a yer gold, or better yet why don’t I just take it from you.”, He says with a laugh turning to a sneer.

Do you give him the gold? If so go to (8) or if you don’t have any and or want to stand your ground and go to (2).

2. “Come on then, take it!”, you growl readying your weapon.

He takes a step toward you. The fight is on!  This guy has a CON of 11. He is carrying a club(3+2 combat dice). He is not wearing any armor.  If you win go to (5), if not he picks your corpse clean of anything of value.

3. The scream came from a sound in the woods to your left. As you turn to head that way, a girl runs by you screaming her head off. She’s followed by 2 goblins waving daggers trying to chase her down. They stop dead when they see you, look at each other, shrug and charge you. They have a MR of 12 each.  If you win you can head to The Bloody Grackle at (4). If you didn’t the goblins drag you corpse off into the woods to take home to their pantry later, then run off after the girl again.

4. The Bloody Grackle is packed, but you manage to get a table near the bar.

“What the bloody Nath are you doing? This is me table your sitting at.” says a man about your size, but with one eye and a nasty scar.”

“Sorry mate, I got here first.” you reply not wanting to move as you’ve noticed that this was the last free table in the place.”

“Oh is that how it’s gonna be huh?” He says as he sits down across from you. “Well then, why don’t we drink for it. Bartender set them up!”

Looks like your going to have a drink off for rights to the table. One Eye’s DRINK is 10. The game is a standard shot for shot contest. You drink one, then he drinks one. Whoever passes out first get’s the boot. Remember to keep track of you DRUNK Points for every drink roll you and he miss. The first one to 6 DRUNK Points passes out and loses. If you win go to (6), if not then go to (7).

5. You find 30GP and a club on him that’s all yours now if you want it. Wiping the blood off your weapon, you hear a scream to your left. If you want to investigate the scream go to ( 3). If you don’t care then head on to The Bloody Grackle at (4).

6. One Eye’s one eye glazes over then he face plants on the table before falling off his chair. A couple of tavern bouncers come over shaking their heads. They pick up One Eye and drag him out to the back alley. Congratulations on finishing your first adventure! Add up any AP points you got for defeating foes and for the drinking game. Add another 50AP just for surviving.

7. You wake up in the back alley with no memory of passing out and being dragged out by bouncers. Too bad, you lost this time. There will be other chances. Add up any AP you earned by defeating foes. At least you have that.

8. You give him the gold. He takes it and then knocks you down and spits on you. His laughter roars through the streets as he turns around and heads for The Bloody Grackle. Seriously? You just gave him the money? Go back and make a real Adventurer. Don’t come back until you ready either.

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Black Friday

1. You walk up the path on your way as usual to the Fantasia Tavern, Dimble’s finest proprietor of food and drink(or at least you believe it is). Having walked this path hundreds of times you let your mind focus on important decisions that must be made before you go inside the Fantasia’s welcome walls, are you having mead or ale, and who is going to pay for it. Your mental deliberations are abruptly cut short as you walk directly into a wall…of people. A huge crowd of Dimble-ites has gathered in the middle of the square in front of the Fantasia. Confused and stunned as to what is going on, you look around for a familiar face that might be able to answer your questions. Your search ends when you notice Cecily and Brath standing outside the Fantasia’s doors. Cecily waves as you approach but Brath just stares at the crowd, anger and disgust coursing through his rugged face.

“What the bloody Nath is going on out here?” you are almost afraid to ask.

“Everybody’s waiting for the shoppe to arrive.”, Cecily answers you. Brath just snorts.

“The shoppe? What kind of shoppe could be just opening to get all these people so excited?”

Cecily looks at you and chuckles.

“They’re not excited. They’re preparing for war.”, She replies through her giggles. “It’s not just any shoppe. It’s Hill’s. It’s a traveling shoppe that comes around once a year. People buy most of their holiday gifts at it. Some will even finish for the season all in one day today. “

Brath snorts again.

“You said they’re preparing for war, what war?”

Cecily looks at you a little puzzled then laughs.

“Hello, the shopping war, duh. It IS Black Friday.” She says smacking you lightly on your forehead. “Those people are going to fight and scrap for everything they can get their hands on. It’s going to be a battle in there.”

Black Friday is real? You have heard the rumors before, but you always thought it was a myth. You turn and stare at the crowd in both awe and amazement.

“What’s Brath pissed about?” you ask, sort of forgetting he was there. Brath turns to you and his face tightens.

“That bloody Hill’s. Them people are going to fill up on that bloody orangy drink they sell and them salty dough twists. Nobody will come in tonight, and the ones that do will be like ‘OOO I got this on sale’, ‘OOO I got that on sale’. The evenin’ will be bloody ridiculous. It’s the same every year”, Brath bellows at you. He turns back to face the crowd and snorts.

All of a sudden the crowd erupts with cheers and howls. The Town Guard doubles up to hold them back. A team of several horses ride into sight. The horses are pulling a good size wagon behind them. Mistrals on top of the wagon seem to be playing music but it can’t be heard over the crowd.

“There it is.” Cecily says.

The wagon comes to a halt. A man stands up from the drivers seat of the wagon and addresses the crowd, which is still too loud for the man to be heard. It doesn’t appear anyone is listening as it is. A door on the side of the wagon slowly opens. The crowd overtakes the Town Guards and disappears through he door in a matter of minutes.

“Where’d they all go? Granted that’s the biggest wagon I’ve ever seen but it was still only half the size of the crowd.” You ask in astonishment.

“Oh it’s much bigger on the inside.” Cecily replies.

Brath just snorts.

“Oh for bloody Nath’s sake Brath, it’s once a year. Get over it.” Cecily scolds Brath then turns and goes inside the tavern.

Brath snorts, glares at you, then follows Cecily inside.

To say that your curiosity is piqued about Black Friday is an understatement. Do you satisfy that curiosity(2) or do you just want to stay out of it and maybe preserve your sanity by going in the tavern and having a drink(6).

2. You enter the door and are immediately overwhelmed by the size of the place. The kind of magic that it would take to do something like this must be awesome indeed. You are brought back to your senses by the sounds of screaming and yelling, worse than on any battlefield. You look around and see people everywhere arguing and fighting with each other over the items on sale here, grabbing at things as if in a twisted game of tug-o-war. Make a Level 2 Save against your Luck right now. If you make it go to (12). If not go to (8).

3. The goblins have a MR of 26 each. If you win the fight you can go to the left(5) or to the right(16). You can also choose to go through the curtain to see just who this “Master” is(7).

4. There’s a curtained doorway here. A sign above the curtain reads “Magic Items”. A smaller sign underneath it reads “One To A Customer”. You go to check it out but too goblins on either side of the curtain stop you.

“Hold on Hoss. You can’t go in there until the Master is done shopping.” Says one of the goblins.

“Yeah, he’s got a coupon to use.” says the other.

You look up at the signs again and notice a third one that reads “Sorry. No Coupons.” Something’s not right here you think. These goblins are up to something.

Suddenly a woman comes running out of the curtain screaming. On of the goblins trip her and she goes sprawling into a pile of stuffed wyvern. Both of the goblins burst out laughing. Do you do something about this(3) or do you just move along to the left(5) or to the right(16).

5. There is a neatly stacked display of boxes here. A weird sort of croaking can be heard coming from random boxes. Make a Level 2 Save against your Luck. If you make it then you can go to the right(20) or down another aisle(15). If you miss a Urook Manager swears at you in your native tongue, pulls out a wand and zaps you with it for 1 die of damage. You can run down the next aisle(15) or head to the right(20).

6. Brath looks a little shocked as you walk into the Fantasia and sit at the bar. Cecily smiles at you and then continues cleaning up the place. Brace places a large mug of ale in front of you and…smiles.

“Good choice.” He says then turns to straighten the shelves behind him. “This one’s on the house.”

You smile to yourself as you sip the ale. You decide you’ll have some mead next, and you might even pay for it.

You get a free drink and 200 AP for your choice today.

7. You enter through the curtain to find a room stocked with any kind of magical item you can think of(yes, even that). A group of people are huddled together in fear. A large goblin with a crown is standing there holding several wands and laughing in merriment. Someone from the huddled group tries to run for the exit. The Goblin King lashes out with a particular wand and the person is suddenly turned into a brightly colored flarg.

Do you take down this Goblin King(9)? If you try to sneak back out make a Level 2 save against your Luck. If you make it then go to (20). If not then the Goblin King notices you and zaps you into a colorful flarg as well.

8. You have been hit by a flying Take That You Fiend spell for 10 points of CON damage. If you are still alive you shake it off and look for who might have cast it at you. Quickly realizing it could have been anyone, you decide to move on. Do you go left(10), right(13), Straight ahead(4), or go back to the Fantasia(6)?

9. The Goblin King has a MR of 36. If you have a ranged weapon or try to get off a TTYF or similar combat spell(one that makes a ranged attack) make a Level 2 Save against your Speed. If you make it then you get a free attack. If you miss or don’t make a ranged or cast a spell then each round you must make a Level 1 Save against your DEX or Speed(whichever is higher). If you make it then you get an attack in with your combat dice. If you miss roll 1 d6. On a 1-5 you get zapped by a wand for 2 dice of damage. On a 6 you get turned into a flarg just like the poor person before you.

If you win the fight go to (14).

10. You come across a huge display of nicely polished and new hafted weapons in the center of the aisle, which you’d probably stop and take a look at if it wasn’t for the rather large female ogre standing in front of it. You feel a little nervous twitch in your guts as she locks eyes on you.

“Don’t even think about it.” She says to you. Her eyes throwing imaginary daggers in your direction. “My Bub is coming to take a look at these and I gots them covered until he gets here. Yous can look after he’s done.”

Without breaking eye contact on bit, the ogress pulls out a large club and begins tapping her open palm with it.

You can make a break for it and go to the entrance(19) or head down the next aisle(17). You can also try to take her on.

If you choose to take her on she has a CON of 26 and her club does 3+2 dice of damage. If you manage to get her CON below 5(You don’t kill her even if her CON goes to 0 or less) she runs away crying and yelling for her “Bub”. As she runs away, the mob that’s been waiting for her to leave converges on the display stripping bare before you can even take a glimpse at it. You can pick one of the choices in the previous paragraph to go next.

11. You come to an area filled with pots, pans, and magical automatic food preparers. A raggedy old woman with a wart on her nose and a glint of evil in her eye spits at you and quickly grabs the last of something called a “juicer” off of the selves in front of you. She laughs at you and makes a gesture. Two skeletons quickly rise from the floor. She says something to them that you can’t hear. The skeletons turn and begin to head right for you. They have a MR of 18 each. If combat last more than three rounds then the skeletons crumble into dust and the woman and her “juicer” are nowhere to be found. You can go down the aisle(13) or to the left(4).

12. You have the strange feeling that you just barely missed something bad happen to you. You think now might be a good time to move on. Do you go left(10), right(13), Straight ahead(4), or go back to the Fantasia(6)?

13. You find yourself in the “Unmentionables” section. Apparently you can only mention them if you are female. If you are male make a Level 1 Save against your INT. You if you make it then you notice an arrow coming your way, so make a Level 1 Save against Speed. If you missed the Speed roll then the arrow just grazes you and you take 1 die of damage. If you missed the Luck roll then the arrow hits you in the leg for 2 dice of damage. No matter if you male or female or you make the Saves or not you should get out of here quickly. You can go to the entrance(19) or up the next aisle(11).

14. The Goblin King falls dead at your feet. The group of people huddled together slowly rise and begin clapping in your honor, thanking you verbally for saving them. A well dressed man bursts through the curtain. You recognize him as the driver of the wagon. He looks in shock at the body of the Goblin King on the floor then at you and smiles. He runs up to you and begins to shake your hand.

“Thank you so much! I’m Mr. Hill. The owner of this fine store. I want to thank you personally for vanquishing that pest.” Hill turns and looks back at the Goblin King’s body. “He’s been a bother every time we come here.”

Hill begins to rummage through his pockets until he pulls out a piece of paper. He turns to you smiling again and hands the paper to you.

“Again I can’t thank you enough. Please take this coupon for 10% off any item. Oh, on your next visit and not on magic items I’m afraid. Thank you. Thank you again.”

Hill snaps his fingers and two huge Urooks come out and carry off the body of the Goblin King.

“I’m afraid this department is closing. Everyone will have to please vacate this area. Please enjoy yourselves in the rest of the store and help yourselves to some of our great deals!” He turns and walks back through the curtain.

Give yourself 50 AP for vanquishing the Goblin King. You can follow the rest of the shoppers back through the curtain(20) and try to make it back out of the store.

15. There is nothing here but an empty display of what was apparently hafted weapons on sale. You can go to the entrance(19) or head down the next aisle(17).

16. There is a sign here that says Juicers and a bunch of empty shelves. You can go down the next aisle(15) or to the left(20).

17. In your haste you run smack into a display of boxes. Make a Level 1 Save against your Luck. If you make it then nobody has seen you and you can make a quick escape to the right(4) or back down the aisle(15). If you miss the roll then a nasty Urook of a Manager has seen you. He does not look happy at all, but when does a Urook ever.

“Hey, what’s the big idea? It took me all morning to stack those boxes. Now see what you’ve done? Now I’ll have to catch all those flargs before they get away.” He scolds.

You look down and see large, colorful, frog like creatures with one eye hoping all around. If you try apologizing make a Level 1 Save against your CHR. If you make it the Manager tells you it’s ok but you better hope he doesn’t catch you in this department again. You can take off to the right(4) or back down the aisle(15). If you miss the roll then the Manager pulls out a wand and points it in your direction. You feel suddenly compelled to catch all the flargs, put them back into the boxes, and fix the display. Before your finished the Manager blurts something out harsh in Urook then kicks you promptly in the shin(take 1 CON damage). As he storms away you feel back in control of yourself. You can now go to one of the above directions.

18. You fight upstream against the customers who are still pouring in through the door. You get stuck at the door, still fighting your way out. Suddenly there is a loud “POP” and you are sent flying through the air, landing on you posterior in front of Wendis Portay. The 8 year old girl points at you and giggles before skipping off. Give yourself 50 AP for surviving Black Friday, but subtract points from your dignity.

19. You are at the entrance. People keep filing in. You can go to the left(6) or to the right(13). You can also just leave(18).

20. There is a sign on the wall that reads “Magic Items”. Underneath the sign is an iron door with a huge bar across it. A sign on the door reads “This Department is CLOSED”. There is also a scattered bunch of stuffed wyverns here. You can go to the left(5) or the right(16).

The Night That Brought Evil, or Party or Die!

1. The light of the day begins to wane. Night comes earlier starting this time of year. It’s All Hallow’s Eve and there is no finer way than to celebrate tonight at the Fantasia Tavern. At least that’s what you’ve been thinking all day.
A slight chill rushes past you. It’s been unusually warm during the day but the night reminds you of the season. Your pace quickens not only to warm yourself, but to get you to the Fantasia with haste. This is the first year since the curse on the Town of Dimble has been lifted and you do not want to miss a thing.
Your thoughts of the festivities lose focus as you suddenly become aware of a sobbing. Soon you notice a woman off to the side of the road with her head in her hands, visibly distraught. Your pace begins to slow as your mind weighs decisions.
You wonder if you should help her, or at least find out what’s wrong, thinking back to the known goblins in the woods just outside of town. Then again, you think, it is All Hallow’s Eve and spirits are known to walk freely this night. What if she’s a witch or some other ghastly manifestation of evil?
Do you go to the woman to see what’s wrong(7) or do you think it safer to ignore her tonight and continue to the tavern(20)?

2. In the center of the glow is a small deformed baby who begins crying at your presence. Could this be the woman’s child? The crying becomes louder and the glow grows brighter causing to you to squint and rub your eyes. Once you refocus you realize the baby is no longer there and a small girl is there instead. Her deformed face tells you that this is the same child just older. However the crying still persists from her lips and has become deafening. Make a L2SR against your INT. If you make it go to (19). If not then go to (9).

3. You head in the direction of the cry for help. Mist swirls around you.
“Help me.” you hear again. You quickly look around trying to find the source of the voice. You go to take a step but your leg suddenly feels heavier than usual, like something is holding you back. Looking down at your leg reveals a hand firmly grasping it. The hand belongs to Arwin Fneebarn to whom it is still attached. The fact that Arwin is grabbing your leg asking for help isn’t shocking. He is quite well known as a klutz around town and is often falling down and needing assistance back up. The problem is that he fell down for the last time a year ago striking his head off of a large rock in the process, He’s been residing in the cemetery ever since.
“Arwin?” You ask, confused as to why he is attached to your leg at this time.
“Aye. It’s me. Help me please. It was bloody nathin’ goblin grave robbers done dug me up. Please take me back to my hole. I just want to go back to my grave.”
It’s now that you notice only half of Arwin is attached to your leg.
“Arwin, what happened to you? How can I be talking to you, well half of you, right now?”
“It’s All Hallow’s Eve ye bloody boob. The only night o the year the bloody dead can come back. Did ye forget I’m dead? “
“No, I didn’t, but…”
“Heh heh ye should have seen them, them stinkin’ gobs. They weren’t expectin’ to find me alive. Scared the begibbies outta them. That’s why they only stole half o me. Tore me right in half of all the bloody nathin’ things. Not sure what happened to them though. Maybe the ghouls got them. Anyways, can you just take me back to my hole? That’s all I want. Look at me. I ain’t fit to be out in public.”
Do you help Arwin out and take him back to his grave site(5) or do you shake him off your leg and just keep moving on and try to forget this weirdness tonight(15)?

4. Her MR is 80. If you win the fight take an additional 100 AP and then go to (17) if not then she sucks your soul from your body as if it were a breath.

5. “Thank Ye me kind Sir. I appreciate it.” Arwin says to you as you pick him up and strap him to your back. It’s only a short walk to the cemetery just outside of town. The gate of the cemetery swings in the wind. The breeze brings a foul stench to your nose.
You enter the cemetery and find paths that go to the left and right.
“Which way will take us to your grave Arwin?, you ask the living corpse.
“How the bloody nath do you expect me to know. All I can see is what’s behind me. Story of my death. Can only see the past.”, Arwin replies with a chuckle. “Just pick a direction and I’ll tell ye when we’re there.”
Do you go left (23) or right(16)?

6. The rustling fades but the baby’s whimper get’s louder as you approach. Just beyond the leaves of the bushes in front of you there is a faint glow. Do you continue forward(2) or do you have second thoughts and go to follow the howl(12)?

7. “Fair Lady, are you alright? Tell me, why are you sobbing so?”, you ask.
The woman is slightly startled to hear your voice and looks up.
“What? Oh my dear sir, please help me if you can? My baby is gone, taken!”, with that she buries her head in her hands again sobbing harder.
“Taken you say! Fair Lady, you must tell me, taken by whom or dare I say what? Was it the goblins?”
“N-Nay sir,” she looks at you with tear filled eyes, “it was the Howler, the Black Howler. I was walking home from my shop, my baby in my arms. I like to have him with me at my shop you see. We were walking home. There was a howl, an awful howl that curdled my blood and froze me in my tracks. The howl rode on a wind that knocked me down and carried my baby off with it. Oh please sir, you have to find my baby!”
The woman grabs your shirt and begins sobbing into you.
Do you feel for this poor woman and vow to get her baby back(24) or does your heart of ice convince you that you do not need a diversion from a night of drunkenness at the Fantasia(20).

8. As you both put you arms around each other, there is a sudden flash from the pendant. The woman lets go of you and recoils back. You look in horror as the beauty that was once before you melts away revealing the hideous form of a demoness. She cowers from the sight of your pendant but soon recovers and advances in your direction. If you have the bell go to (11). If not then you must fight her to save your soul. Go to (4).

9. You fall to your knees. Your hands holding your ears. You can feel the pounding in your skull. Soon it all comes to a stop as your brain shuts down completely. Consider yourself lucky that it has, so you cannot comprehend the things that are happening to your body while it’s still alive…for now.

10. Just off the path ahead is a goblin sitting in a circle of white powder. He sits beside a small pile of bones, two of which he picks up and begins to strike against one another. He looks up at you and begins to chant. If you have a missile weapon or can cast a TTYF, make a L1SR against your LUCK. If you make it you can get a shot off before anything happens(fire or cast as per the rules). If you don’t have a ranged weapon or miss the roll then the goblin wizard looks up at you and casts the two bones outside the circle in your direction. From the two bones spring two skeletons(MR 16 each or 32 together), each holding a bone sword in their bony hands. If you defeat the skeletons then you must face the goblin wizard. He has an MR of 26. Every other round he tries to cast a TTYF(INT 16 DEX 12). On the 3rd round of combat he realizes he has broken the circle and runs away. If you win the combat or the goblin runs away you can continue on(21) or go back the way you came(16). If you lose the battle, the goblin grins over your corpse about the prospect of fresh parts for his ritual.

11. Make a L2SR against your INT. If you make it then then you remember the bell’s power against evil this night Go to (18). If you miss then you must fight her for your soul. Go to (4).

12. The howl has lead you to a small clearing, a break in the woods. Blood red eyes glare at you from the center. There is a smell in the air letting you know that you are facing a primal beast of the night. In the moonlight, you can see a bundle beside the Black Howler’s massive form. You pray that the baby is still alive. You take a few steps closer and the creature lets out an ungodly howl and charges you. The Black Howler’s MR is 36. Every other round make a L2SR against LUCK. If you miss then the Howler howls and disorients you enough to make you fight at 1 less Attack Die the next round. If you survive go to (14). If not, it is best to not know.

13. The bell is barely audible to you, just a small tink and echo of the clapper. The witch, however, grabs her ears and screams.
“I will kill you for this! I will find you again and kill you!”, she bellows in pain.
She takes a hand away from her ear and manages to scratch you for 1d6 of CON(it cannot take you below 1) before she turns into a ball of light and flies off into the night sky screaming.
You stand there for a few seconds, look around, and decide it might be best to start your way back to the road and the Fantasia. Take 100AP for this little diversion and go to (20). You may keep the bell to if you want.

14. Your final blow causes the howler to rear back on it’s hind legs and collapse. It’s body goes through a series of grotesque convulsions until finally the form of a man lies dead at your feet. You shake off the horror of what you’ve just seen and remember the bundle and go to it. You pick it up to find it’s not a baby at all. It’s a bundle of clothes(the man’s?), a parchment with what looks like a spell on it, and a bell.
You become very aware that you are not alone. You turn to find the woman standing there, looking a little different, looking evil. It dawns on you now that you’ve been manipulated by A WITCH!
“I’ll be taking that if you don’t mind!”, she commands with a growl.
“What have you made me do?” You ask in slight shock.
“What did you make me do?”, she mocks. “The Howler meant to destroy me. Probably because I turned him into that. That’s what happens to the miserable rubes that betray me. I couldn’t touch him so I waited until some poor sap would do it for me. That sap was you. NOW GIVE ME THAT BUNDLE!”
Her eyes begin to burn with hate and fire. Your first instinct is to flee then your mind turns to the bundle. Maybe one of these things can hurt the witch. That must be it since she wants it so much. But is it the spell or the bell? If you decide to read the parchment out loud go to (22). If you decide to ring the bell go to (13). If you decide to take off running you drop the bundle and can hear her laughing all the way back to the road. Might as well head for the Fantasia(20).

15. You’ve finally made it. You can hear the party going on inside the Fantasia. You can almost taste the many ales that you will consume once inside.
A soft whistle distracts your attention. You turn to see the most beautiful woman as you ave ever seen. She is dresses all in black.
“Come here.”, she says “I have many things to show you. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
Something in her eyes, her voice, has you mesmerized. You are being drawn to her.
“Come on, I won’t bite.”, she coos. “I promise I won’t”
You are now close enough to embrace her. She reaches out to you with her arms.
If you are wearing a silver pendant go to (8). If not go to (26).

16. As you walk down the path, you hear the sound of shoveling. In the moonlight you can see the shapes of two goblins digging up a grave. You begin to ask yourself why goblins would be robbing graves, especially on a night like this one, but quickly put it out of your head. That’s a mystery you feel better left out of. They seem really intent on their work so there might be a chance of sneaking by them without incident.
“YA STINKIN” GOBS! GET YER BLOODY MITS OFF ME FRIENDS!” Arwin explodes in anger from behind you. You close your eyes in frustration and shake your head.
The goblins look up and charge you with their shovels. They have an MR of 15 each or 30 combined. If you defeat them then you can either take the bend in the path(10)or go back the way you came(23). If they manage to defeat you, consider yourself luck that you can’t hear Arwin’s fit of rage as he curses the goblins and your soul.

17. You are greeted with cheers as you walk through the doors of the Fantasia. A frosty pint of ale manages its way into your hand from an unseen benefactor.
“You look like a man with a story to tell.”, Someone calls in your direction. “Make it a good on and your next drink’ll be free.”
Not one to turn down an offer of a free drink. You make yourself comfortable in a nearby chair, smile, and begin to tell your tale.

18. You ring the bell. The demoness shrinks back squealing in pain. A second ring drives her back into the darkness. A blood curdling scream rips through your brain and then she is gone. Take 100 AP and go to (17).

19. Whatever this evil is, it realizes that you are too powerful for it. The glow fades to nothing in the quick of an eye. The girl/baby is gone too. You are a little stunned by what just happened but quickly recover. Do you want to go back and follow the howl(20) or are you too rattled and want to give up and just head for the Fantasia(15)?

20. The road continues on. A fog, more of a mist, is settling in. The chill still makes it’s presence known. Up ahead through the fog, you can see the friendly glow of the Fantasia.
“Help me.” says a strained voice in the mist.
You lower your head and shake it. Tonight of all nights, you think, this is how my luck runs.
Do you investigate the source of the cry for help(3) or do you just say forget it and head to the tavern(15)?

21. “This is it! Put me down!”, Arwin cries out. “That’s me grave right over there.”
You take Arwin off your back and place him in the dug out grave. He has a big smile on his face.
“Thank ye sir. Thanks for putting me back in me hole. Here, before ye cover me back up, let me give ye this.”
Arwin takes a silver pendant off of his neck and hands it to you. The shape of the pendant is like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
“That’ll protect ye sometime. Trust me on that. Saved my life on many an All Hallow’s Eve. Now be quick about burying me. I just want to go back to my eternal slumber and be done with all o this.”
You take the pendant and put it on. You give Arwin a nod then grab a nearby shovel and quickly cover him back up with dirt.
You can give yourself 100 AP for finishing this diversion and go to(15).

22. As you read the parchment the witch begins to laugh. Your lips speak the final words as her laughter reaches a crescendo.
“You fool! You really don’t know what you have done to your self now have you?”
Your body is suddenly wracked with pain. You drop everything you were holding. Your clothing feels tighter causing you to tear it off your body.
The witch bends to pick up the bell.
“You saps. You never learn.”, she says before she turns into a ball of light and flies off into the night sky.
Your skin ruptures and your bones break before you collapse into a sickening ball of pain and agony. After a few minutes, you arise slowly until you are stable on all four of your legs. You let out a terrible howl to the wind and then run off into the night.

23. You walk past headstone after head stone. An uneasy feeling comes over you. Not that you’d show it, but you have just become scared of the dark. There’s something there. You can feel it.
Out of nowhere you stumble over something. You look down and see it’s the severed arm of a goblin.
“Hmmf, I knew it. The ghouls got them.”, Arwin snorts.
The path turns 90 degrees. The is also a path cutting diagonally through the cemetery. Do you take the turn(25) or go back in the other direction(16)?

24. “Fair Lady, which way did this Black Howler go?”
“You-you are going to help me? Oh thank you sir! Thank you! The Howler wind went that-a-way.” She points to the woods. “It was minutes ago. You may still be able to hear the howling. You MUST hear the howling.”
“Lady fair, take yourself to the Fantasia. I will meet you there when I return.”
With that you head into the dark woods. The full moon lights your way. You’re a good bit into the woods when you hear it, a howling in the wind. It sounded like it came from your left but you can’t be sure. Is it just the darkness of the woods being disorienting or are spirits toying with you? Suddenly off to your right you hear a rustling, just out of your sight, then what sounds like a whimper of a baby. Will you go to your left where you think the howl came from(12) or will you confront the rustling, hoping that maybe the howler dropped the baby there(6)?

25. The path is darkened by a cloud crossing in front of the moon. When it passes the bright moonlight uncovers a twisted form sitting on top of a tombstone right in front of you. The creature seems to be chewing on something, a bone perhaps. Unfortunately the moon has also revealed you to the ghoul. The foul undead creature slinks off of the stone, dropping whatever it was eating, and starts in your direction. The ghoul has a MR of 31. If you win the fight you can continue on the path(21) or go back the way you came(10). If you lose the fight, well, sometimes dead is better.

26. If you have the bell then make a L2SR against your INT. If you make it then then you remember what tonight is and all the creatures of evil roaming free. You also remember that the bell’s power against evil this night Go to (18). If you miss then you must fight her for your soul. Go to (4).

Being The Chapter Where The Hero Saves The Princess

You have been hired by King Venmeer of the Kingdom of Elsnoor to complete a special task. Hired is a relative term, as you were actually absconded from the streets of Elsnoor by four of Venmeer’s guards.

The guards bring you to King Venmeer, tossing you down at his feet. You look up at the King, hoping that the rumors of his madness are not true. The look in his eye does nothing to reassure you.

“Is this my hero?” Venmeer asks the guards.

“Yes, your Majesty.”, The largest guard replies. “He volunteered just 10 minutes ago.”

“I…”, You just manage to spit out scrambling to come up with a defense.

“Good. Thank you, Brave Warrior, for your service. What is your name? Nevermind it does not matter. Are you familiar with my daughter, Quadrina?”

At the sound of the name Quadrina your mouth goes dry. You think to your self “Oh Gods, please don’t let this be the Challenge. Anything but the Challenge!” but to the King you manage to say “Uh, yes. I am.”

“Good! This is good.” Then the King begins to weep,”She’s been kidnapped! Stolen from me! Taken by goblins! FOUL STINKY GOBLINS! You must get her back for me. “

The King paces back and forth frantically.

“Will you get her back for me? Yes, yes you will! Zzabath! Come to us now.” The King is now in a rage.

A Wizard, robed in purple and black, glides from out of the shadows. You take it that this is Zzabath.

“What is your command O King?” Zzabath asks. His voice has a hint of serpent to it.

“This Brave Warrior has volunteered to rescue the Princess, my beloved Quadrina.”, Venmeer turns to face you, staring straight into your eyes. “I need reassurance that he won’t simply run off.”

Zzabath turns to face you as well with a look that would have you rather stare at a gorgon.

“Not a problem.”, Zzabath hisses. “Guards, if you would please.”

Two guards grab your arms, securing them, making sure you are not going anywhere. Zzabath approaches you and pulls what looks like a collar out of the air. He the places it around your neck. A few words are hissed. The collar tightens and begins to glow softly red.

“Brave Warrior”, Zzabath addresses you, “You have 24 hours to find our beloved Princess. If she is not returned in 24 hours, the collar that you now wear will activate a spell that will cause it to shrink…rapidly…while still around your neck. Am I clear?”

You meekly nod yes at the Wizard.

“Guards, take this Brave Warrior to the mouth of the Goblin cave and throw him in. Remain there until he returns, if he returns.”

With that, the guards pick you up and transport you to the Goblin cave.

Once inside the cave, every half hour is a “turn”. Zzabath had said that the collar is timed for 24 hours. However, you now have 23 since one hour was wasted in traveling. This means you have 46 turns to rescue the Princess before, well, you know. For each turn you must roll 2 dice and consult the chart below:

2-4 = Nothing happens/no encounter

5-7 = An encounter

8-9 = A trap

10 = A treasure is found

11-12 = Stairs to the next level. Up or down depending on which way you are going.

You are descending into the cave. Once you have found Quadrina, you may begin ascending back out. When you are on your way back out of the cave, on the first level a roll of 12 means you found the exit and have successfully completed your mission and released from the collar. Take 500AP and 500GP for your troubles and (Venmeer is mad, but he’s not unfair). Also when ascending back out, after 3 turns on the level you are on you may make a saving roll of that level against Luck(Level 3 of the cave would mean a 3^rd level saving roll). If you make it you have found the stairs to the next level, if not then you must continue looking. The save roll can only be made once per cave level.

If there is a turn where nothing happens, you may use that time to cast a spell that affects you or your weapon(like Poor Baby, Vorpal Blade, etc.), take a healing potion. CON and WIZ lowered by damage or spell casting can have 1 point each restored during this time as well.

If a treasure is found use the Treasure Generator of the rule book you are using.

If you roll an encounter use the following charts for each level:

Roll	Level 1	Level 2	Level 3
2	Big Spider MR 12	*Doom Jelly MR 26	Ogre MR 48
3	1d6 of Rats MR 3 each	Really Big Spider MR 24	2 Goblins MR 36
4	Cave Scorpion MR 14	*Dethepede MR 25	Humungous Spider MR 35
5	Giant Slug MR 13	Cave Scorpion MR 24	Female Ogre MR 50
6	*Shlyme MR 10	Goblin Guard MR 26	Goblin Guard MR 40
7	Goblin MR 13	2 Goblins MR 24	3 Goblins MR 42
8	Goblin MR 14	2 Goblins MR 26	3 Goblins MR 44
9	*Sprickette MR 15	*Living Rock MR 22	Goblin Chief MR 44
10	Snollygoster MR 18	*Gobgre MR 30	*Pet Wolf MR 30
11	Killer Moth MR 16	Goblin MR 18	*Gobgre MR 50
12	Giant Silverfish MR 11	Carrion Eel MR 23	Your found Quadrina!

Any Encounter with an asterisk please consult the descriptions below.

The MR given for 2 or 3 Goblins is the total MR not for each individual.

Dethepede: Spiny centipede like creatures. They cause 2 points of spite damage instead of 1.

Doom Jelly: A greenish/yellowish blob that does an extra 1 die of damage when spite damage occurs.

Gobgre: The large mutated offspring of a Goblin and an Ogre. The epitome of big and stupid.

Living Rock: lizards with large rock like carapaces. Their carapace takes 3 hits.

Pet Wolf: One of the Goblin Chief’s pet wolves.

Shlyme: Amoebic like creatures that have a greenish color to them with a faint blueish glow. Edged weapons do half their dice when attacking Shlyme.

Sprickette: Copper colored 1′ long spiders with back legs like a cricket.

If a trap is rolled then roll 1d6 and consult the chart below. Damage taken is the difference between what you rolled and the target score. The level of the Save Roll is the same as the level of the cave you are on.

Roll 1d6:

1. Falling ceiling block. Save vs. Speed to avoid damage

2. Spikes from the floor. Save vs. DEX to avoid damage

3. Arrows from the walls. Save vs. Luck to avoid damage

4. Indescribable Muck. Save vs. STR to get unstuck from it. If you miss then you are stuck for another turn and must roll again.

5. Trip wire. Save vs. INT to notice. If you miss then you trip it triggering a war hammer to swing down from the ceiling.

6. Gas attack. Save vs. CON.  If missed no damage is done but your personal adds are halved for the next 2 turns.

–>

Tomb of the Unexpected: A solotastic dungeon for Aweosmesauce, er, Tunnels & Trolls!

Tomb of the Unexpected!
A solotastic dungeon for Aweosmesauce, er, Tunnels & Trolls!

This very short dungeon adventure was originally done for the Awesomesauce role playing game (which can be found here: http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/107162/Awesomesauce-The-Roleplaying-Game-Troll-Hammer-Edition ). Though tongue in cheek and not all that good(just take it with a grain of salt), I reworked it to be compatible with T&T. This is for any class, even Citizen. The adventure is linear so just go through the paragraphs in order. The Awesomesauce version is provided after the T&T version.

Intro:
Through the mists you hear the clang of iron, like a death knell in the distance. As you approach you see a broken gate opening and closing with the musty wind that surrounds you. Staring coldly at the entrance to the tomb you see before you, you think “Sweet tomb! I gotta go in there!”

1. The Green Pool.
The room appears to be empty. Phosphorescent moss on the wall gives the room an eerie glow. There are cobwebs(or spiderwebs?) decorating the bare dusty stone walls. The faint glow of the moss reveals a green puddle in the corner. Leaning closer to get a better look, you notice that the puddle seems to be moving in your direction. You are being attack by a Green Slime. “This is so not cool” you think.
Green Slime: MR 12

2. Food Storage.
As you walk into the room you bump into something hanging from the ceiling. With horror you realize its a goblin mummified in spider silk. You also notice several more hanging from the ceiling. Aw crap, this is not good. You take guard and try to make your way to the exit. As you turn, a huge mother of a spider lowers itself in front of you.
Giant Spider(size of a dog): MR 18

3. The Box.
This room is bare except for a table in the middle of the room. A ray of light from outside shines solely on the table, illuminating a rectangular metal box. The light from above reveals writing on the lid, which reads “Claw of Zacharley, to defend against thee. One use only”. The box seems to have a complicated latch. You can try to open the box or just leave.
If you choose to leave, out of the debris on the floor forms a dirt golem, which would be kinda scary except that it’s only 3 feet tall. The dirt golem has a MR of 20.

Opening the box is a Level 2 Saving Roll vs. Your Strength. If you fail you must fight the dirt golem above and leave(unless you Con is now zero in which case the dirt golem will attack, kill you and end the adventure right here). If you make it, in opening the box you find a dagger. You think it must be the Claw of Zacharley. The dagger has 4 combat dice and can only be used once. It can be used alone or used with another 1 handed weapon(add the combat dice of the 2 weapons together when attacking), but not with a two handed weapon or a 1 handed weapon and shield(Seriously? Just drop the shield). It will disappear after being used, so choose you battles wisely.

4. Surprise!
Upon entering this room you see two skeletons laying on two stone slabs on each side of the room. Each is holding a shield and a sword, as a slain warrior might be laid out. You try to carefully sneak through the room as quiet as you can, unsure of what would happen is you made a loud noise. Make a Level 1 Saving Roll against your Luck to see if you make it. If you make it you succeed or if you fail, it doesn’t matter as nothing happens in this room at all. Surprise!

5. The Room of Doom.
In this room you find a pedestal with a box affixed to the top. In this box is small cube. Each side of the cube is marked with a number from 1 to 6. Written in the box is a poem:
“Roll a side
To decide
Your Doom!”

Roll 1d6 and consult the chart below for your fate.
1. Mushrooms on the walls fill the room with gaseous spores. You lose 1d6 Strength points temporarily for the next room
2. A shadow spider materializes out of the shadows eyeing you for a meal. MR 18
3. A panel in the wall opens and out lumbers a gory shambler sloshing it’s way towards you. MR 20
4. The room fills with crypt flies. Make an Level 1 Saving Roll against your Luck. If you make it you have thwarted Doom this day and you may continue. If you you lose the flies cover your body, stripping you of flesh and meat until all that’s left is bones.
5. A knee high gremlin appears out of nowhere and proceeds to give you a good crack in the shin before disappearing with laughter. You don’t lose any Con or any other attribute points, just some humility.
6. A spirit of a mighty warrior appears before you. “Ah, a brave soul in search of adventure! How I miss those days. Take me with you for one more adventure and I will grant you strength!” With that the spirit fliess into your mouth hitching a ride on your soul.. On your next encounter the spirit aids you by doubling your Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Or Speed(pick one) for the next room(your attributes go back to what they were if you survive it). After the encounter the spirit thanks you and releases you from possession.

6. The Main Ghoul.
As you enter this room, candles all around the room begin to light themselves. The sudden illumination reveals a polished casket in the center of the room. As you approach, the lid of the coffin slowly slides off, loudly crashing to the floor. You watch in horror as bony hands reach out and take hold of the sides, giving leverage to the hellish form rising from within. You realize that this gaunt and terrible form standing before you is Zacharley, eyes glowing and fingers like daggers. Zacharley has a MR of 30. Roll a Level 1 save Roll against your Luck each combat round to see if he calls a skeleton to rise up and fight you(MR 10). If upon your defeat at his hands, Zacharley feasts on your guts and sucks the marrow from your bones. If you were the victor, a bright light appears but suddenly fades into the spirit form of a mighty warrior. “Oh valiant and mighty adventurer, you have done what I died trying.” The spirit says, “ Let me protect you on your journey out of this foul place.” With that the spirits whirls around you in a flash of light. Suddenly you find yourself out side the tomb. The trail leading away begins to brighten with the sun.

Tomb of the Unexpected!
A solotastic dungeon for Aweosmesauce!
Tomb of the Unexpected is a beginner solo adventure for the Awesomesauce RPG. It is interned to be played by one first time character.
What you need to play: Awesomesauce,Amazeballs, and Amplescrew and a couple six sided dice(d6). Get the Awesomesauce rules and the rest here http://dicemonkey.net/category/awesomesauce/

How to play: Read the intro then role 1d6 and go to the paragraph with the same number. If you survive the encounter then roll again adding 1 to the roll until you find the final room. If you end up going to the same room more than once, you can skip it and roll again or try your luck yet once more. All characters start with an Awesomsauce of 1.
Rest: The following rules are ways to regain 1 lost Awesomesauce point between each encounter, provided you are alive. Pick one before starting the adventure: Baby way – automatically rest between each encounter to regain 1 Awesomesauce, Easy way – Roll a 3 or above on 1d6 , Medium way – Roll evens on 1d6, Rough way – Roll a 5 or 6 on 1d6 , Gonzo way – Rest to regain Awesomesauce? I’ll rest when I’m dead(by shear awesomeness of going gonzo you gain 1 Awesomesauce point before the adventure even starts)

Intro:
Through the mists you hear the clang of iron, like a death knell in the distance. As you approach you see a broken gate opening and closing with the musty wind that surrounds you. Staring coldly at the entrance to the tomb you see before you, you think “Sweet tomb! I gotta go in there!”

You ready your sword and go in. Phosphorescent moss on the wall dimly lights your way. Roll 1d6 and begin!

1. The Green Pool.
The room appears to be empty. Phosphorescent moss on the wall gives the room an eerie glow. There are cobwebs(or spiderwebs?) decorating the bare dusty stone walls. The faint glow of the moss reveals a green puddle in the corner. Leaning closer to get a better look, you notice that the puddle seems to be moving in your direction. You are being attack by a Green Slime. “This is so not cool” you think.
Green Slime: Awesomesauce of 1

2. Food Storage.
As you walk into the room you bump into something hanging from the ceiling. With horror you realize its a goblin mummified in spider silk. You also notice several more hanging from the ceiling. Aw crap, this is not good. You take guard and try to make your way to the exit. As you turn, a huge mother of a spider lowers itself in front of you.
Giant Spider(size of a dog): Awesomesauce of 1

3. The Box.
This room is bare except for a table in the middle of the room. A ray of light from outside shines solely on the table, illuminating a rectangular metal box. The light from above reveals writing on the lid, which reads “Claw of Zacharley, to defend against thee. One use only”. The box seems to have a complicated latch. You can try to open the box or just leave.
If you choose to leave, out of the debris on the floor forms a dirt golem, which would be kinda scary except that it’s only 3 feet tall. The dirt golem has an Awesomesauce of 1.

Opening the box has an Awesomesauce rating of 2. If you fail you must fight the dirt golem above and leave(unless you Awsomesauce is now zero in which case the dirt golem will attack, kill you and end the adventure right here). If you make it, in opening the box you find a dagger. You think it must be the Claw of Zacharley. The dagger has an Amplescrew of 1 and can only be used once. It will disappear after being used, so choose you battles wisely.

4. Surprise!
Upon entering this room you see two skeletons laying on two stone slabs on each side of the room. Each is holding a shield and a sword, as a slain warrior might be laid out. You try to carefully sneak through the room as quiet as you can, unsure of what would happen is you made a loud noise. Make a saving roll against an Awesomesauce of 1 to see if you make it. If you make it you succeed and you gain an Awesomesauce point. If you fail, it doesn’t matter as nothing happens in this room at all. Surprise!

5. The Room of Doom.
In this room you find a pedestal with a box affixed to the top. In this box is small cube. Each side of the cube is marked with a number from 1 to 6. Written in the box is a poem:
“Roll a side
To decide
Your Doom!”

Roll 1d6 and consult the chart below for your fate.
1. Mushrooms on the walls fill the room with gaseous spores. You don’t lose any Awesomesauce but you must subtract 1 from your next roll.
2. A shadow spider(Awesomesauce of 1) materializes out of the shadows eyeing you for a meal.

3. A panel in the wall opens and out lumbers a gory shambler sloshing it’s way towards you.

4. The room fills with crypt flies. Make an Awesomesauce 1 saving roll. If you make it you have thwarted Doom this day and you may continue. If you you lose the flies cover your body, stripping you of flesh and meat until all that’s left is bones.

5. A knee high gremlin appears out of nowhere and proceeds to give you a good crack in the shin before dissapearing with laughter. You don’t lose any Awesomesauce points, just some humility.

6. A spirit of a mighty warrior appears before you. “Ah, a brave soul in search of adventure! How I miss those days. Take me with you for one more adventure and I will grant you strength!” With that the spirit flies into your mouth hitching a ride on your soul.. On your next encounter the spirit aids you with an Amplescrew of 1. After the encounter the spirit thanks you and releases you from possession.

6. The Main Ghoul.
As you enter this room, candles all around the room begin to light themselves. The sudden illumination reveals a polished casket in the center of the room. As you approach, the lid of the coffin slowly slides off, loudly crashing to the floor. You watch in horror as bony hands reach out and take hold of the sides, giving leverage to the hellish form rising from within. You realize that this gaunt and terrible form standing before you is Zacharley, eyes glowing and fingers like daggers. Zacharley has an Awesomesauce of 2. If upon your defeat at his hands, Zacharley feasts on your guts and sucks the marrow from your bones. If you were the victor, a bright light appears but suddenly fades into the spirit form of a mighty warrior. “Oh valiant and mighty adventurer, you have done what I died trying.” The spirit says, “ Let me protect you on your journey out of this foul place.” With that the spirits whirls around you in a flash of light. Suddenly you find yourself out side the tomb. The trail leading away begins to brighten with the sun.

The Duchy of the Drakes

1. You are strolling through the woods on the way to the Fantasia Tavern, though the woods have become unfamiliar to you. You thought you were taking a short cut, since after all most short cuts are through the woods. Your brain finally gives in and admits defeat letting you know that you are now lost. As you turn around to go back the way you came, figuring the worst tonight leads to is drinking home alone…again, you hear a cough to you right followed by a faint “Help, please help me”.

You turn to your right to see, about 20 yards(that’s 18.288 meters to you metric speaking people), a slumped over figure, about 4 feet tall(1.219 meters), dressed in chainmail, and resembling…a duck(???).

You sprint to the fallen figure. Bloody Nath, it is a duck, and badly wounded.

“Sir Fowl, what happened? Are you ok?”, you concernedly ask.

“My name is Dnaald, kind sir. I was bringing a precious artifact back to me village when I was attacked by several Mustela. Their attack was vicious but they didna’ get the artifact. I still gots it.” replies Dnaald.

The duck man breaths in sharply, holding a huge wound in his chest tighter.

“Please help me kind sir. Help me get the artifact back to my village.” Dnaald begs of you as he pulls out a small duck shaped statue, the size of your fist. The statue is made out of green gem with red spots, resembling blood.

“This is the Bloodstone Buffleneck. My village needs it’s power, a power only my people can wield. It’s a matter of Life or Deaaaaaattthhhh” 

The last word, was Dnaald’s last word as he breathes his last breath in front of you. The Bloodstone Buffleneck rolling from his wing to the ground at your feet, leaving the next move to you.

Will you honor Dnaald and take the statue back to his village, wherever that is (8)?

Do you wonder if it’s even worth your trouble, the statue is practically worthless to you since you can’t wield it’s power. Maybe you could trade it for a few pints. Do you just want to pick it up and head back to some pub somewhere(13)?

2. You hand the statue over to Duke Maelaard, who quickly takes it from your hands. The guards around Duke Maelaard push forward, pointing their spears at vital spots all around your body.

“Outlander fool!”, Duke Maelaard laughs. “You’ve just doomed your own kind. With the power of this, the Bloodstone Buffleneck, I shall destroy every one of you. From your ashes will arise a nation, nay an empire of Duckdom!”

“Let me guess, led by you?”

“Thanks to you, my might is now limitless. Who would stop me?”

Again you find yourself faced with two options. You ask yourself, am I heroic and able enough to stop Duke Maelaard? If you feel you are and think you could take him in a fight, mano a duck, then go to (6). The other option is to simply get up and run away as fast as you can(9).

3. “Maelaard! I would dare be the one to stop your fowl, er foul, plans. Face me like a man, or are you chicken?”

Duke Maelaard just laughs at you as he draws his sword.

“Outlander scum. Come be the first of your kind to die at my hands!” he says as he closes in on you. Go to (6).

4. As you walk down the path, you hear some faint rustling in the brush to your left. Not taking any chances you ready your weapon, bending your ear in the direction of the noise. You remember that Dnaald was attacked by Mustelas, whatever those are, and become aware that you might be in danger. Suddenly from the right, another duck man jumps out of the brush on to the path. You instinctively swing your weapon but the duck man stumbles and falls avoiding the swing.

“Please kind sir, I mean you no harm! Please don’t hurt me!”

This duck man is dressed like a peasant. He must be a common villager.

“On your feet! I won’t hurt you, but answer me what were you doing there?” You sternly ask the peasant duck.

“I – I was hiding from the mustelas. I was coming to find sir Dnaald, to persuade him from bringing the Bloodstone Buffleneck to the village. I saw him get attacked by the mustelas. I’m a coward so I ran and hid.”, says the peasant duck still on his knees as if begging you for forgiveness from something.

“Get up.”, you say lifting the duck man by his shoulder. “Did you say you were going to persuade Dnaald from delivering the statue to your village? Why?”

“Our leader Duke Maelaard is an evil drake. He plans on making war with you outlanders. He wants you all dead so our kind can rule the land. He says “our kind” but I know he means it all for himself. The Bloodstone Buffleneck has the power he needs to do just that. There are a few like me and we have a resistance movement started, but we are just simple peasants. Please sir, I saw Sir Dnaald give you the Bloodstone Buffleneck before he died, I beg of you don’t let Duke Maelaard get his wings on it. Keep it if you like, it’s power is useless to you outlanders, just take it far away from here. Better yet, destroy it!”

Just then a piercing high pitched chittering comes from the left.

“Mustelas!”, Cries the peasant duck as he makes a break for it back into the brush. “Run!”

You are alone on the path again, trying to process what you just heard. You see two choices in front of you. You can turn around and give up this quest, taking the Bloodstone Buffleneck with you(13) or you can proceed on and see where this adventure takes you(11).

5. The ice cold water splashed in your face abruptly wakes you up.

“Get up outlander!” Says a gruff duck guard.

You are in a room that looks like it’s more fit for animals than men, or duck men for that matter. You have been stripped of your armor. You are also surrounded by 6 duck guards pointing spears in your direction and 6 aiming at you with crossbows.

“I said get on your feet!” the head guard barks.

You comply, realizing that fighting your way out probably isn’t a good option.

“Now move towards the tunnel!”

The other guards guide you with their spears towards the entrance of a tunnel in the one side of the room. Once there the head guard pushes you in. He tosses you your weapon and if your weapon isn’t two handed, a buckler(3 hits, 2 STR required) as well. He pulls a chain and an iron gate slams down in the doorway separating you and the guards.

“You have 30 seconds to get going down that hall or we fill you full of bolts!” The head guard barks at you.

You turn and see a light at the end of the tunnel. You know this just can’t be any good. There’s a click and a whoosh as a bolt screams by your ear. Getting the hint, you begin walking towards the light. The light is so bright it blinds you from what is on the other side.

You get to the light and walk into it, finding your self in an arena. Hundreds of duck men and women fill the seats, their cheers and boos fill the air. Duke Maelaard, leader of the village, rises dressed in back robes and addresses the crowd.

“Loyal Drakes and ducks! For your amusement, we bring you another outlander to play our game.” Duke Maelaard turns his gaze to you, “Outlander, here are the rules. If you win our game, we will set you free. We are fair fowl so you have our word that this will be so! However, to win our game you must defeat but one foe. With out further ado, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!”

With Duke Maelaard’s decree a gate on the other side of the arena opens. Thunderous steps can be heard from inside the tunnel of your foe. Soon the ugliest, most hideous, most vile duck you have ever seen enters the sunlight. You guess it must be the size of a house. The beast looks at you, releases the most frightening quack you have ever heard, then morphs into a smoldering duck of ash, lava, and flame.

You are facing a Fowlrog! It has an MR of 70. Every round of combat you must make a Level 1 save Roll against your DEX or SPEED, whichever is higher, or take an additional 2d6 damage from lava and ash thrown your way in the attack.

If you actually win the contest, the crowd goes silent. Next thing you know you are knocked out by a guard. When you awaken you find yourself back in the woods. You are with out armor or weapons, but still free. Give yourself 200AP for surviving.

6. Duke Maelaard is a level 3 Rouge. His short sword has three combat dice + 24 personal adds. He wears a chain mail shirt under his robes that takes 4 hits. He can wield Take That You Fiend, which he’ll try to do every other round if he can, though usually at level 1 because he a) wants it to hit and b)wants to wear you down so he can actually kill you with his sword. Duke Maelaard likes to think that having his subjects see him defeat his foes with a blade makes him look stronger in their eyes.

His stats are like so: Str 14, Con 19, Dex 15, Spd 13, Int 17, Wiz 20, Luck 30, Chr 17.

If you defeat Duke Maelaard, go to (10).

7. As you walk down the path, you hear some faint rustling in the brush to your right. You are startled by a high pitch chittering and a large furry form. A tall creature resembling a weasel is blocking your path. A second appears behind you. These must be the Mustela that attacked Dnaald you decide.

“We wunz da artifact!”, The first Mustela speaks to you. “Weez’ll juzt pryz it froms yer dead handz.”

With that the fight is on. Each Mustela has an MR of 18. If you win you have a decision to make. On one hand, this whole thing might be more than your willing to get involved in so maybe turning around and going home might be the right idea(13). On the other hand, this adventure just got more interesting and you are glad to lend a hand helping a good cause. If that’s the case go to (11).

8. You scoop up the statue, putting it somewhere safe on your person. Dnaald’s village must be in the direction you were heading but the path splits just up ahead. Now what do you do? You did decide to honor Dnaald so it looks like you will have to pick a path and hope that it’s the right one. Do you go right(4) or left(7)?

9. You turn to run as a guard hits you behind the knees with the blunt end of a spear. The next blow comes to the back of your head, knocking you out could. Go to (5).

10. Duke Maelaard’s corpse falls dead at your feet. You become aware that while victorious, you are still surrounded by an entire village of duck people whose leader you have just killed. The silence is deafening. Soon there is the sound of a pair of wings, clapping. A few more being clapping, then a few more, and more until the entire village is clapping for you. The guards have lowered their spears. A duck dressed in peasant garb approaches you from the crowd.

“Thank you kind sir! Thank you for setting us free. We are but gentle fowl who just want to live on their own. Duke Maelaard oppressed us with his talk of power and a forked tongue. We have nothing to give you as reward except the Bloodstone Buffleneck. Keep it as we want nothing to do with it, which was why it was cast far from the village in the first place. We just ask that you take it as far away from here as you can. Please stay the night as we feast to celebrate our freedom and burn Duke Maelaard’s body in the village square!”

You look at the stockpiles of vegetables and grain and think the feast might not be too tasty.

“Thank you but I must be off. I am honored to have been of service to you kind folk. I bid you farewell, and good luck.”

You turn around to leave, pausing as a feeling that someone is going to hit you in the back of the head and knock you out runs through your brain. Shaking the feeling off, you begin your journey back home, or better yet, the Fantasia Tavern where this story and the Bloodstone Buffleneck might buy several nights worth of pints. Give yourself 400 AP for a job well done.

11. The woods thin out here and up ahead you can see the gate to a village. This must be where Dnaald’s home. Something twinges in the back of your mind, a feeling of dread perhaps, but you chalk it up to just not wanting to tell the news of Dnaald’s passing to his kin. You can proceed in to the village(12) or, if you are still bothered by the feeling of dread, you can turn and head home(13).

12. As you pass through the gate you see a crowd of duck people going about their daily lives, until they notice you and gasp in fear and confusion as to why you might be there. The entire village is now frozen and staring at you. Cutting through the crowd like lava through rock is a detail of duck guards, all in chainmail and carrying spears and shields, lead by a duck in black.

“Tall Outlander, why are you here? State your business!” barks the Black dressed duck.

“I come with news of a member of your kin, Dnaald.” You humbly reply.

The crowd gasps again when you speak the name of Dnaald. The duck guards seem to tense.

“You’ve met Dnaald, Outlander? What of this news?”

“Kind ducks, I’m afraid that Dnaald has passed away in battle. He had been attack by mustelas. I only came upon him as he spent his last breaths.”

“The only way an Outlander would know anything about our village or the name Dnaald would be if this were true. I believe your words Outlander. Likewise, the only reason why an Outlander would be in our village is if Dnaald ask you to finish his mission. He gave you a statue to deliver to us. Release it to me and you will be rewarded.”

Duke Maelaard extends his wing waiting for you to place the Bloodstone Buffleneck in his grasp.

Do you give it to him, yes(2) or no(14)?

13.You start to head back the way you came. You take a step, feel a sharp pain in the back of your head and everything goes black. Go to (5).

14. “No.” You calmly reply.

Duke Maelaard is briefly stunned by your answer but becomes awash in anger.

“Then I shall take it from you!”, screams Duke Maelaard as he draws a sword and closes in on you. Do you fight him(6) or try your chances at running away(9).

Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

1. You hug the wall of the thin cliff, praying that the quartet of Dark Walkers below you don’t look up. One Dark Walker is bad enough, but four? How did you get in this mess? You glance down and are glad you see the tops of their hoods and not their rotting faces looking up at you. You note that they have drawn their bone swords, not a good sign. You have to get out of here.

You creep along the side of the wall, doing your best not to make any noise. You keep your eyes on your pursuers, feeling the way with your hand. After a few painfully slow inches of creeping, your hand lands on something wooden, not rock. You slowly move your gaze from the Dark Walkers to the door you’ve just found. A door? Who puts a door in the middle of a cliff half way up a mountain of rock? At this point you really don’t care, as long as it opens.

Just as you notice there is no handle or knob on the door, your foot slips causing a small cluster of rocks to fall noisily right in front of the Dark Walkers. The strange and rotting creatures withdraw their bone swords into their hands and begin climbing up the rock towards you. You start throwing your weight into the door, pounding on it as hard as you can, but it’s not budging, not even a crack. You look down. The Dark Walkers are closing in. You turn back to the door and in frustration yell, “BLOODY NATH! LET ME IN!”

The door creaks open. You run in and go to slam the door shut, but it shuts faster than you can push. You are safe, you think, then you notice it’s pitch black. You turn around to put your back at the door. Two torches on the walls burst into flame, temporarily blinding you for a few seconds. When your eyes adjust to the light, you see two doors. One is marked 2, the other is marked 3. A sign between the door reads:

Welcome to Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

Guaranteed a surprise around every corner!

You may begin by picking a door and entering the next room.

Remember as always, MAKE GOOD CHOICES!

Good luck!”

You try the door behind you, thinking you might be better off with the Dark Walkers, but it won’t budge. Guess you’ll have to pick a door. Will it be (2) or (3)?

2. The doorknob gives you a sharp shock when you grab it. The shock doesn’t do any damage, just scares you half to death. You enter the room and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. There’s a greenish, yellowish mess of something in the middle of the floor. There’s plenty of room to walk around it so you shouldn’t have any trouble getting to the doors, until it starts moving towards you.

It’s a Doom Jelly. It has an MR of 25 and does an extra die of damage if it rolls spite damage. Edged weapons only get half their adds against it as well.

If you survive, you can now go through the left door(19) or the right one(17).

3. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. Suddenly the floor, and the entire room, tilts towards the doors. You must make a Level 1 Save Roll against your DEX to keep your balance. If you miss, you fall and roll into the wall between the doors taking 1 die of CON damage.

The floor levels back out and now you may pick the right door(10) or the left one(19).

4. The doorway has taken you back to the ledge where you started. It looks like the Dark Walkers had given up on trying to get in and have moved away from the cliff, though still in sight. Make a Level 2 Save Roll against your LUCK. If you miss then the four Dark Walkers have noticed you and are on the attack. They have an MR of 40 each. If you have a ranged or missile weapon you may make an attack before they reach you. If you make the roll then you successfully sneak away from them, quickly taking off in the other direction.

If you made the Save Roll or won the fight, then consider yourself lucky and take an extra 300AP for surviving Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

5. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see no other doors anywhere. A wooden beam with a wheel attached to it lowers out of the ceiling. The wheel looks like a game of chance wheel at a carnival or festival. It looks like wands are attached at different intervals. A sign on the wooden beam says “SPIN”. With nothing else to do in the room and no way out, you spin the wheel. It lands on a wand and the wand fires at you.

Roll3d6 and see what happened:

3 – Your Speed goes up 1d6.

4 – You become the opposite sex.

5 – Your weapon is enchanted and does an extra die of damage.

6 – Your Strength loses 1d6 points.

7 – Your Charisma loses 2d6 points

8 – Your Luck goes up 1d6.

9 – Your skin has been enchanted and can now take 5 hits(add total Hits Taken if using armor).

10 – You’ve been turned to stone.

11 – Your Intelligence goes up 1d6.

12 – Your Dexterity loses 1d6 points.

13 – You are teleported. Roll 1d6. Odds take you to Room 3. Evens take you to Room 2.

14 – Your Dexterity goes up 1d6.

15 – Your biggest piece of armor(all if full set) or shield is enchanted and hit taken is doubled

16 – Your Charisma goes up 3d6 points.

17 – You are now a Hobb. If you are already a Hobb then you are now a Goblin

18 – Your Strength goes up 1d6.

If you aren’t stone or teleported, a door appears in front of you (15).

6. You get a strange itching feeling as you pass through eh doorway that quickly goes away. Roll 1d6. The number you roll is how many points your DEX goes up. It is also the number of points that your SPEED goes down.

On the ground you see a large green crystal. You pick it up and inside you can clearly see a vision of an obese goblin eating something repulsive. He looks up and waves to you. Make a Level 2 Save Roll against your LUCK. If you make the roll, you accidentally drop the crystal, shattering it into a million pieces. If you miss the roll, you get an uncontrollable urge to keep it and try to sell it, which you never will. You won’t be able to give it away either. No one wants an Emerald of Fuurg…ever.

Now pick a door., left (11) or right(7).

7. As soon as you enter this room the door behind you disappears and you find your feet stuck to the floor. It’s going to take a Level 2 Save Roll against your Strength to be able to take a step. Every time you miss you need to make a Level 1 Save Roll against LUCK or be zapped by an electric shock. Luckily this is a small room and it’ll take you only 5 steps to get across.

If you make it to the doors, you can go left(18) or right(4).

8. This door takes you back to the ledge you started on, only this time the Dark Walkers have made it up. The four Dark Walkers have a MR of 40 each. If you manage to win the fight you lick your wounds and begin the climb back down the cliff, headed on to whatever adventure is before you. Take an extra 400 AP for surviving Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

9. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. In the center of the room stands a humanoid figure covered in fungus and moss. He looks straight at you and beings to walk towards you. His eyes never leave yours. He has a MR of 18. If he is hit or even killed in the first round of combat, his body ripples and grows and his MR is now 26(even if he took damage that round). If he isn’t hit then he continues at the same MR. If he is hit or even killed in the second round of combat, his body ripples and grows and his MR is now 32(even if he took damage that round). If he isn’t hit then he continues at the same MR. If he is hit or even killed in the third round of combat, his body ripples and grows and his MR is now 40(even if he took damage that round). If he isn’t hit then he continues at the same MR. If he is hit any round after that his body explodes showering moss, flowers and spores all over the room. Take an extra point of damage from the spores.

You can go through the right door(11) or the left door(14).

10. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. In the center of the room stands a 4′ tall figure with the body of a man and the head of a bull holding a spear. As you try to decide if you should laugh or be worried, the Mini-taur charges you. It has a CON of 28 and it’s spear had 3+1 combat dice.

If you defeat the Mini-taur, you may pick the right door(9) or the left door(16).

11. As you walk through the doorway your body is racked with pain. The room looks like it’s getting bigger, at least from your perspective. When the pain stops you find yourself with the current intellect and mind of a person of your age and experience, but in the body of a newborn baby. Pain hits you again and you cry and blackout.

When you awaken finally you are back to normal, and naked. Your clothes and all your gear are there right beside you. As you get dressed, you notice that you feel better than ever before. All of your CON has been restored, any curses befallen upon you have been lifted, and any disfigurements, disabilities, or ailments have been undone. Consider this a gift of Daa’argararath.

Go through the left(5) or right (18) door.

12. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. The room looks empty, then you hear a skittering noise coming from the ceiling. A two foot long creature with the body of an ant and the tail of a scorpion crawls down the wall to face you. Then you notice the other one in the corner, that has noticed you too.

The Scorpiants have an MR of 23. They can be fought separately or together. Either way, if one hits you in combat you must make a Level 1 save Roll against your CON or take an extra die of venom damage.

If you manage to survive, you can go through the right door(8) or the left door(7).

13. The door opens to a lush path on the other side of the mountain. There is not a Dark Walker in site. You breath in the fresh air, thanking whatever God got you through that crazy place. You ponder for a second or two as to what kind of lunatic would create a place like that coming to the conclusion that you never want to find out. You begin to venture down the path, thinking you’d like at least a few nights rest and a few hundred pints of ale before you started on another adventure. Take an extra 500 AP for surviving Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

14. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. In the center of the room is a bizarre statue of a goblin. Make a Level 2 Save Roll against Luck or INT whichever is higher. If you make the roll you notice in time that the statue is alive. It’s a Gobstone and now have to fight it. If you miss the roll the Gobstone surprises you with a strike of it’s stone hand doing it’s hit dice in damage. If you survive the blow you will have to fight it. The Gobstone has a MR of 32 and it’s stone hide acts as armor and takes 5 hits of damage.

If you manage to survive, you can go through the right door(5) or the left door(4).

15. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. Across the room is another door. A sign on the wall above the door reads:

Thank you for playing Daa’argararath’s Dungeon of Deathtrap Doorways!

Pull the rope to get your prize!

Please exit through the door ahead.

There’s a velvet rope hanging beside you that you didn’t notice before. You pull it and 100x your highest attribute in gold coins pours out of slots in the walls. You gather you what you can carry and go through the door(13).

16. As you go to open the door only the top half opens. Which means you have to climb over it to get into the next room. Make a Level 1 save Roll against INT or LUCK whichever is higher. If you miss then you don’t notice the floor is missing except for a small ledge behind the door and you fall into a pit of perpetual falling, and your doom. If you make it then you notice the trap and climb down carefully onto the ledge.

You also see two ropes, one 1/3 of the way and the other 2/3rds, swinging back and forth. Your only way to the other side, since the door behind you disappeared, is to swing on those ropes. Make a Level 1Save Roll against your DEX or LUCK whichever is higher. If you miss the roll you fall to your…perpetual falling?…and the adventure ends here. If you make the roll you’ve successfully caught the other rope. Now make a Level 1 save Roll against your DEX or LUCK which ever is lower. If you miss the roll, you know what happens.

You made both Save Rolls and may now pick the right(14) or left(8) door.

17. You enter the room, and the door shuts behind you and disappears. You see 2 unmarked, non-distinct doors across the torch lit room. Other than that the room is completely empty. As you step fully into this room, it begins to spin. You must make a Level 1 Save Roll against your DEX and LUCK. If you miss one of the rolls you fall and take 1 die of CON damage. If you miss both take 2 dice of damage.

The room soon slows down to a halt. You may now pick the left door(6) or the right one(12).

18. As you enter the room you find an underground has cut ti’s way through the room. It doesn’t look that deep and you can probably make your way across it, that is until the huge seven headed bright blue green salamander crawled out of the hole in the wall on the one side. The Seven Eyed Beast has one eye on each of it’s seven heads. It crawls the rest of the way out of the hole on it’s six legs. It salivates out of it’s fanged mouth as all seven eyes look at you as it’s next snack. The Beast has an MR of 60. Good luck.

It’s highly unlikely that you will survive, but if you do, there is only one door to go through(15).

19. Passing through the door gives you a tingling feeling. The most powerful magical weapon or object you have has now been drained of it’s magic power for the next two rooms. For that time it is simply plain and ordinary.

The door behind you has disappeared. There are two doors on the other side of the room. Do you pick the left one(9) or the right one(6)?